June 28, 2009
FFF Results Post #170 -- Wait! Don't!
On Friday, CR
readers were asked to "Name Five Decisions You'd Like To Talk The Comics-Related Person Who Made Them Out Of Doing." Here are their responses.
1. Harvey Kurtzman, Disengaging From MAD The Way He Did
2. Joe Maneely, Not Taking a Cab
3. Wally Wood, Getting Original Art Back Commando-Style Before I Could Build Time Machine To Go Back In Time And Watch
4. Jack Kirby, Not Getting It In Writing
5. Jim Steranko, Hosting the Harveys
1. Bob Kane -- taking all the credit for creating "Batman"
2. Denny O'Neil -- using that phone poll instead of something more classy, like flipping a coin
3. Kevin Dooley -- nixing Gerard Jones' original idea for what became "Emerald Twilight"
4. The Miracleman intellectual-property owners -- not nailing down the reprint rights
5. Carmine Infantino -- not cutting Jack Kirby more slack so he could finish up the Fourth World books
1. Milt Gross -- eating that eclair.
2. Charles Schulz -- taking that first Met Life meeting.
3. Gary Larsen -- quitting his strip.
4. Bill Watterson -- quitting his strip.
5. Jack Cole -- killing himself.
1. Hernandez Brothers from ending Love & Rockets vol. 1
2. Todd McFarlane from buying that baseball
3. Joe Matt from squandering his talent
4. Whoever was responsible for casting the Watchmen movie from hiring Matthew Goode instead of Aaron Eckhart as Ozymandias
5. Christoper Reeve from getting on that horse
1. Milton Caniff-- for going ahead with the disastrous Vietnam Storyline, "The Critics"
2. Dave Sim--For not taking his divorce/misogyny/conversion and pounding it down his readers throats for 10+ years
3. EC Segar, being with him on his death bed and preventing him from signing the shysters contract
4. Jim Shooter-- from going through with Secret Wars 1 and 2-- it has wrecked mainstream comics to this day
5. George Wunder--persuaded him that there were better ways of distancing himself from Caniff instead of adopting those horrendous profiles.
1. Steve Ditko, turning down Frank Miller on that MR. A book;
2. Jerry Siegel, every
decision made after 1937;
3. Schulz, shoulda gone with Hostess over Dolly Madison;
4. Dan Clowes, not pushing harder for a Needledick the Bugfucker movie;
5. Stan Lee, not a thing, pal, not a thing.
1 - For God's sake, Mark McClellan, give me a call even if I am on the other side of the country.
2 - The first one is free, George Caragonne, but the rest of them will cost your self-respect, your talent, your friends, your family, your soul, and your life.
3 - Put the cigarette down, Steve Gerber.
4 - Get it in writing, Jack Kirby.
5 - You need a different hobby, Vaughn Bode'.
Stan Lee -- Pissing off Steve Ditko
Seth -- Adding gray-tones to Charles Schulz's artwork
Bill Gaines -- Staying up all night all hopped up on amphetamines before that congressional hearing
Wizard World -- Continually scheduling conventions at the same time as Heroes Con
??? -- Whatever caused the fall-out between ICAF and SPX
1. Stop Frank Miller from taking whatever it drug it was that suddenly made him suck.
2. Dave Sim hating women.
3. Get 12-year-old Art Spiegelman to read some Kirby (does making someone do something count)
4. Greg Irons going overseas
5. Chester Brown doing Underwater.
1. Dave Sim, getting too damn serious about the religion.
2. Stan Lee... well, a lot of things.
3. Larry Marder, stopping work on "Beanworld" for so long.
4. Jerry and Joe, not getting better legal advice.
5. The Electric Tape Girl who used to come to Comic-Con, wearing a costume made from about $1.10 worth of electric tape.
1. Frank Miller and Dave Gibbons, for killing and discontinuing Martha Washington.
2. Bill Watterson, for ending Calvin and Hobbes way too soon.
3. Jack Kirby, for discontinuing OMAC before he had the chance to resolve the unbearable cliffhanger that I'm still bearing for more than 30 years.
4. For John Byrne and everyone else, for trying to continue OMAC.
5. Chris Claremont, for leaving New Mutants.
1. Marvel trying to be their own distributor
2. DC pulping the Elseworlds 80-page Giant
3. George Perez, Mark Waid, Barbara Kesel et al. going to work for CrossGen
4. Dark Horse printing Lone Wolf & Cub in that tiny pocket-sized format
5. Siegel & Shuster signing away the rights to Superman
1. Bill Mantlo, Don't take up rollerblading
2. Martin Goodman, Don't close down your distribution company
3. Bill Finger, Don't let Kane steal your thunder
4. Siegel & Shuster, Don't sign away everything without at least a percentage
5. Bill Gaines, Do not -- I repeat, do not
-- volunteer to testify
1. Steve Ditko quitting Spider-Man after #38
2. Mort Weisinger firing Wayne Boring
3. DC and Marvel switching to smaller size original art in 1967
4. John Byrne leaving Superman after #22
5. Jeanette Kahn deciding to increase DC output prior to Blizzards of '77-'78 leading to the DC Implosion
1. Jack Cole from "quitting" the business
2. Frank Miller from making movies
3. Art Spiegelman from discontinuing RAW
4. Charles Schulz from never letting Charlie Brown kick that football
5. Wimbledon Green from dispersing the Wilbur R. Webb collection
1. Denis Kitchen -- Selling controlling interest in Kitchen Sink Press
2. Jack Cole -- You know
3. The person who nominated Jim Shooter for the position of Editor-In-Chief of Marvel Comics.
4. Bill Sienkiewicz -- Quitting Big Numbers
5. Frank Frazetta -- Taking a job assisting Al Capp
Submitted with great respect for Mr.'s Kitchen, Sienkiewicz, & Frazetta, in recognition that some of these decisions may have been unavoidable.
thanks to all that participated
posted 3:30 pm PST
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