February 7, 2010
I Am All About Re-Launched Watchmen
Series Proposal For Dollar Bill: Bank On It, Four-Issue Limited Series From The New DC Comics
* Dollar Bill -- Bill Brady is a University Of Kansas all-star athlete turned corporate superhero. He likes working at banks, doing calisthenics in the park and eating at automats. He dislikes "people that are two-faced", comfortable costumes and people that attended the University of Missouri.
* Current "C" Calloway -- Neighborhood bank messenger and honorary Dollar Bill sidekick. Carries a roll of dimes in each small fist.
* Adelaide Crapot -- Teller at the First National Bank; joins Dollar Bill at times during lengthy presentation of bank services. Responsible for supplying Dollar Bill's secret headquarters/cubicle.
* Dr. Manhattan -- Naked blue man from the future largely disinterested in banks and banking but also able to stand up and get himself a magazine from the other room while remaining seated on the john, which impresses Dollar Bill to no end. Occasionally hides in past loafing around Dollar Bill's apartment, citing "huge dollops of aggravating bullshit" allegedly awaiting him in the future.
* any and all who evince ignorance of banking regulations or general banking conduct
* complicated entryways
* poor people
Issue to Issue Plot Synopsis
Issue #1 ("Cash Of Two Worlds") -- Bill called into Manhattan branch of First National Bank to explain in measured, earnest tones that while dollars are legal currency, pennies are not necessarily legal tender and thus any landlord is fully within their rights not to accept a pile of pennies as payment for back rent. In exciting action scene, Dollar Bill shown holding open door of bank for several customers, leading bank president to consider putting in revolving door.
Issue #2 ("Even A Pauper... Can Cry") -- Dollar Bill once again called into bank to explain in measured, earnest tones how you can guarantee a lack of signature and cash a check even if someone planned it so that they'd have more time to find the money to cover the check they just wrote, and two or three other ways to legally screw over desperate poor people. Dollar Bill catches his cape in pastrami sandwich door at Automat.
Issue #3 ("This Man, This Bank, This Salami-Man Somewhere In Close Proximity To The Bank") -- Dollar Bill once more called into bank where, while taking an extended break from explaining banking things to people in order to do some push-ups in a back vault and eat an egg salad sandwich from the Automat, he meets up with Dr. Manhattan, a naked, blue hero from the future and part-time Dollar Bill roommate. Dr. Manhattan takes Dollar Bill and Current C back to the founding of the Banco di San Giorgio in 1407 Genoa. Using measured, earnest tones, Dollar Bill explains to the 15th Century bankers the proper use of calendars as a deposit inducement, then temporarily catches his cape in large, ornate door. Dr. Manhattan creates life forms from local meat products that are defeated and eaten by Current C.
Issue #4 ("Whatever Happened To The Marker I Borrowed?") -- Dollar Bill's special yellow marker he uses to mark bills goes missing. Dollar Bill gets new marker from office supply cabinet with help of Adelaide Crapot. Dollar Bill muses on moving back to Lawrence and coaching high school track but takes time to explain to a set of customers in measured, earnest tones the difference between nominal and periodic rates. Current C trades in dime rolls for Silk Spectre Tijuana Bible drawn by failed pirate cartoonist Joe Shuster. Dollar Bill leaves by side entrance as new door being put into place, temporarily catching his cape on his way out.
* set of collectible playing cards featuring Dollar Bill in various muscular poses on one side and sections of text from the Emergency Banking Relief Act on the other
* super-tight cape
* spinner rack of Dollar Bill comics to be placed in every bank lobby in America; cost and reach of program to be explained sometime in the future, although just by asking I can tell you hate comics and don't want them to succeed
* since Facebook wasn't invented in the 1940s, fans paying $14,000 for brass and glass ticker tape machines will be supplied with updates as to Dollar Bill's status, his Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy Show
live-tickering and the up to the second collectible value of his comic
* a richly rewarding contract may be added as an attachment to any e-mail sent to email@example.com
posted 8:00 am PST
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