January 18, 2009
FFF Results Post #147—Shut Up
On Friday,
CR readers were asked to "Name Five Comics-Related Conversations You Never Want To Have Again." Here are their responses, and thanks to all that participated.
*****
Ben Schwartz
1. Stan Lee, hero or villain?
2. Jaime or Gilbert? Why is it a choice -- you can read both!
3. What's Dave Sim's damage (always heard after he writes a new editorial).
4. Ditko rumors of any sort! He never does anything, says anything, or appears anywhere!
5. Will they ever make a
Watchmen movie?
*****
Tom Spurgeon
1. Why is there no real comics journalism?
2. How can we make comic books mainstream entertainment again?
3. How can the CBLDF support that awful person?
4. Why does anyone have any time for alternative comics, since all of them are about a bunch of sad-sack losers talking about their lives and sniffing flowers and masturbating into socks and crying about how they can't get dates?
5. What is the real mainstream -- alternative comics or superhero comics?
*****
Jeet Heer
1. Complaints about Chip Kidd's design.
2. Is Kramer's Ergot 7 Too Expensive?
3. Is Crumb a racist/sexist/pervert?
4. Should legacy Strips be Banned?
5. Was Wertham a good guy after all?
*****
Eric Knisley
1. How can the Invisible Girl see if her retinas are transparent?
2. Is Luba a sex symbol or a sexist symbol?
3. Boy, I sure wish Jim Woodring/Art Spiegelman would write/draw a Superman/Batman story.
4. Pens are for pussies. No, brushes are for bastards. No, pens are for panty-waists. No, brushes are for Balrogs. Pens are for piss-whistlers. No, brushes...
5. Why can't we have great comics like when we were kids?
*****
1. Who will play [insert character] in [insert hypothetical movie and/or sequel]?
2. Who is the Red Hulk?
3. Debunking "Kirby sucks" claims.
4. Individual issues v.s. Paperbacks
5. Anything having to do with Diamond sales figures.
*****
Rick At Casablanca Comics
1) How much is this going to be worth?
2) Who would win in a fight between the Hulk and Superman?
3) Which Batman movie is best and why.
4) Why is (insert title) book late?
5) I do not want to hear how your mother threw away all of your comics.
*****
Sean T. Collins
1. There are aspects of superhero comics culture that are sexist and I am outraged/not outraged anew by the latest example of same
2. What's the big deal about Chris Ware anyway?
3. I think superhero comics are mostly stupid and spend most of my time talking about that in some way or other
4.
Miscellaneous Man: The Movie made $500 million dollars on opening weekend but people still aren't buying Miscellaneous Man comics and here's what that proves
5. Hey, did you hear the controversial and stupid thing Creator X said? Let's talk about that for a week!
*****
Sean Kleefeld
1. Any "Who would win in a fight" question. The answer to every one of these is always: "Depends on who's writing it."
2. "What's your least favorite issue of [insert title]?" I'd rather focus on the issues I like.
3. "If you had complete control of comicdom and could assign any creative team to any book..." This is so far beyond theoretical as to be absurd. My stock answer is: I pull out my bring-em-back-from-the-dead machine and have Kirby and Eisner do everything.
4. "I have this old comic; how much is it worth?" Especially irritating when it's sent via email and doesn't include any indication of the book's condition.
5. Any "Who would win in a fight" question. Yes, I know that I already listed that first, but I really, really, really don't ever want to have that discussion again. Ever.
[
editor's note: I'm nearly 100 percent certain I'm allowed to use something from one of the Light photos if it goes back to that site; someone correct me if I'm mistaken]
*****
Buzz Dixon
1. I do not want to discuss Mighty Mouse vs Superman
2. I do not care to know which superheroines should be tied up more often
3. I do not believe it's okay to enjoy kiddee porn just because it's drawings, not photos
4. I was there so don't try to tell me what I saw or heard
5. Say X-Men just one more time, mutha... I dare you -- I DOUBLE dare you!
*****
1. No, just because they paid to publish it doesn't automatically make it work for hire.
2. No, you're not doing the rights owner a favor by usurping copyright to put something on the web.
3. No, the claim that you're unwilling to pay for something does not make it okay for you to take it for free.
4. No, Diamond is not evil. They make decisions for reasons of business.
5. I have no friggin' idea where Jim Lee is, or if he's even supposed to be at this convention.
*****
* "What comics can I use to convince my significant other to share my hobby?"
* Defenses of certain comics that conflate not liking them with not "getting" them
* "Manga is a fad, like Smurfs and Pogs"
* "The North American manga market will never mature"
* "Maybe the current crop of manga fans will grow up to like real comics"
*****
Grant Goggans
1. "Howard the Duck? You mean that stupid movie?"
2. "Judge Dredd? You mean that stupid movie?"
3. The brief conversation I have every few months, confirming that Garth Ennis's final Hellblazer storyline is indeed still out of print for some insane reason.
4. The "I don't read comics, I just read manga" conversation, which admittedly I only ever had once, about four years ago, but it was enough to fill me.
5. Any conversation about how totally wicked awesome Mark Millar's comics are supposed to be. It usually invokes the "Do you think this A stands for France" line and eventually peters to an end with a feeble suggestion that I might want to try "Superman: Red Son," because I'm sure to like that one at least, if I gave it a try.
*****
Michael Grabowski
Webcomics rule/suck.
You should read these manga.
More superhero movies and who should direct or write or star in them.l
Spine vs. staple.
Dave Sim is/isn't a misogynist.
*****
Ben Towle
1) What books to give to people who don't read comics in order to "convert" them.
2) The conversation that starts like this: Q: "What do you do for a living?" A: "I'm a cartoonist," and ends with a discussion of the most recent Spider-man movie.
3) Whatever happened to Al Columbia?
4) The Old Funny Dan Clowes vs. the New Nabokov-esque Dan Clowes
5) How superheroes are "modern mythology."
*****
Jamie Coville
1. Comics should go back to the newsstands and be cheap just like they were 25 years ago!
2. I hate Manga, everything looks the same!
3. Dave Sim, Cerebus & Misogomy.
4. DC buying Superman is like me buying a house. Why should the builder get anything after I bought it once?
5. Support comic books, stop buying trades, you're killing the industry!
*****
1) "So, wait, you mean they make comics for adults?"
2) "OK, in the next X-Men movie, who should play Dazzler?"
3) "Why do you like manga? I just don't get it."
4) "How much is your collection worth"
5) "I have a bunch of old comics. Do you think they're worth anything?"
*****
1. How can you still read superhero books?
2. How can you read those black and white books?
3. What does Dan Didio have against Young Justice and the Teen Titans?
4. Is buying this comic a good investment?
5. Why are you writing about sports on a comic book website?
*****
Fred Hembeck
1. Betty or Veronica? (...or Midge?)
2. Lois or Lana? (...or Lori?)
3. Gwen or Mary Jane? (...or Betty?)
4. Lulu or Gloria? (...or Annie?)
5. Barbarella or Vampirella? (...or Stripperella?)
*****
Michael Aushenker
1) Stan vs. Jack vs. Steve (who cares who did what or whatever the percentage, it took all of them to create those Marvel superheroes)
2) Whether or not I'm going to go see the new "Punisher" movie coming out (Enough already! I hope Hollywood has learned its lesson...)
3) How the economy will affect the comics industry
4) How the comics industry will affect the economy
5) Who is stronger: Superman or Hulk? (that conversation bit the dust by the 7th grade)
*****
Frank Santoro
5. Fort Thunder artists can't draw.
4. Photoreferencing.
3. Eisner.
2. Miller.
1. Kramers Ergot.
*****
*****
posted 6:30 am PST |
Permalink
Daily Blog Archives
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
Full Archives
