FFF Results Post #135—Powers

On Friday afternoon, participating CR readers were asked "What Four Superpowers Do You Have (1-4), and What One Superpower Do You Want (5)?" The subject was suggested by Richard Pachter. Here are the results.

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Richard Pachter

1. Ordering Chinese food for takeout or large gatherings
2. Making mixtapes (or CDs)
3. Keeping strolling musicians away from my table at restaurants
4. Knowing if my friend Ron Farber is on the phone when it rings
5. Flying

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Tom Spurgeon

1. Waking up whenever I tell myself I'm going to wake up.
2. Packing a suitcase for a long trip so that it weighs between 49.2 and 49.8 pounds without my having to weigh it to check.
3. Convincing large groups of people to skinny dip.
4. Being my own second worst enemy.
5. Eating planets.

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Kathryn Immonen

1. Singlehandedly carrying an inordinate number of boxes
2. Finding vintage clothing on the racks at Goodwill
3. Parallel parking
4. Quickly opening any sealed packaging
5. Invisibility

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Danny Fingeroth

Superpowers I have:
1. Parallel parking
2. Ignoring clutter
3. Calming agitated people
4. Agitating calm people

Superpower I want:
5. Time travel

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James C. Langdell

1. Causing computer equipment to break down just by being there
2. Conducting music at sight
3. Reaching into piles of paper on my cluttered desk to grab what I need
4. Driving smoothly
5. Disintegration beams

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Dave Knott

1. Procrastination
2. Remaining "just friends" with every acquaintance of the opposite sex
3. Eating any kind of food with no sign of disgust
4. Riding a bicycle for thousands of miles to get to a comics convention
5. Immortality

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Scott Dunbier

1) Can catch 40 quarters off my elbow.
2) Can predict to the minute how long a car trip will take.
3) My gravy at Thanksgiving.
4) Remembering phone numbers as well as all issue numbers from comics with art by Neal Adams.
5) To stop time.

*****

Roger Langridge

Gots:
1. That thing where you double your forefinger over and pretend the thumb of your other hand is the tip, then pretend to pull off the end of your own finger (preferably in front of small children)
2. Trumpetting like an elephant (again, to delight two-year-olds)
3. Typing with one finger at super-speed, assuming I haven't pulled the end off
4. Being able to hand-letter my comics without a computer (it feels more and more like a super-power every day)

Wants:
5. The ability to freeze time for everyone but me

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Gabriel Roth

1. reading in the car without getting carsick (when I was a kid my parents were so impressed by this that I actually imagined it might get me into the Legion of Super-Heroes).
2. speaking extemporaneously.
3. doing repetitive tasks efficiently on Mac OSX.
4. picking the right size Tupperware container to accomodate a plate of leftovers.
5. earning a living.

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Sean Kleefeld

1. Ordering the best meal off any given menu
2. Unlimited stomach capacity for carbonated beverages
3. Razor-sharp toenails
4. Ambidextrous thumb-twiddling
5. Always picking the fastest check-out line at the grocery store

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Uriel A. Duran

1) Catching roaches alive
2) A very good memory for trivia and useless facts
3) Walking silently and unnoticed (handy for spooking people simply by suddenly speaking from behind them)
4) Meeting deadlines on time
5) Flight

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Tom Bondurant

1. High tolerance for pain (a doctor actually told me this; you don't want to know why)
2. Power walking
3. I am apparently a pretty good cook, at least according to the surprised reactions of my wife and parents
4. Super-editing (probably another surprise)
5. Super-speed (Flash-style, with the protective aura and everything)

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Grant Goggans

1. Whenever the phone rings, I know who is calling.
2. I can make any Internet argument immeasurably worse.
3. I can find a better shortcut to any location in North Georgia via surface streets.
4. Those "Billy" bookshelves from IKEA? I can assemble those suckers blindfolded.
5. I would like the power of Garbage Clairvoyance Nudity Teleportation. That means that whenever I notice trash on the side of the road, then the jerk who tossed it there is immediately transported back to it without any clothing.

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Vito Delsante

1. The ability to worry without cause or reason
2. The ability to make my wife laugh
3. The ability to rub my dog's back leg and make it stretch out. It's much cooler than it sounds
4. The ability to hit 9 out of 10 deadlines (only ever missed one)
5. Some kind of healing factor. My back is killing me.

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Bill Doughty

1. Turning traffic lights red the moment I reach them.
2. Thinking about a particular episode of a TV show, and then it airs the next day.
3. Super mumbling.
4. Can change shoes quickly.
5. Time travel.

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Jamie S. Rich

1. The power to cloud women's minds so they don't see my obvious attractiveness.
2. The ability to recall what obscure B-sides by British bands came out with what A-side and in what order.
3. I can turn just about anything into an innuendo or match it to a song reference.
4. By that token, I can meet someone and within five minutes make an innocent joke that turns out to hit their most vulnerable point without even knowing it.
5. How to disappear completely.

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Matthew Craig

1. Hypnophobic Superconductivity of the Brain.
2. The pent-up rage of a Coke machine on a rollercoaster.
3. A beard.
4. A tongue like an alligator's life-partner.
5. An Infectious Dance.

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Christopher Duffy

1. Ability to hypnotize dogs.
2. Ability to find worst morning radio show.
3. Can find up to three dollars in change in pockets at any given time.
4. As child could mock adults with no resultant punishment. (This ability has mutated into power to attract and breed wiseguy kids.)
5. Either time manipulation (slowing it down, time-travel) or bee eating.

*****

Gil Roth

1. Ability to find change between sofa cushions
2. Ability to metabolize Colt .45 (but not Crazy Horse)
3. Ability to find appropriate quotes from Judd Apatow movies
4. Galactus Grip
5. Buddhist Palm

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Walter Hudsick

1. Spontaneous dinner party generation
2. Booming voice
3. Super-movie-dialog-recollection
4. Touching greeting card personal note writing
5. Invulnerability

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Aaron White

1. Finding just enough money at the absolute last minute.
2. X Ray Spex Vision, aka ability to imagine what people look like naked.
3. Deafening Inner Monologue.
4. Ability to transmute aesthetic opinions into moral judgements.
5. Ability to go to heaven and take all my friends, loved ones and pets with me.

*****

Sean T. Collins

1. Buns of steel
2. Able to alphabetize CDs with deadly accuracy
3. Google-fu
4. Sean is the snuggliest one there is!
5. Teleportation, with BAMF! sound effect but without smell of sulfur

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Lee Hester

I believe that everybody has super powers. It's just a matter of finding them. Here's the ones I have, plus the one I want:

1. The ability to sing any popular song from the last 100 years, instantly, from memory.
2. Incredible luck. No other explanation for staying in business for over a quarter of a century.
3. Bring me any comic book, turn it to any page, and I will tell you who drew it, and usually who inked it.
4. I can collect without using a want list, and never buy a double.
5. I keep hoping that I will be able to jump in the air and freeze like they do in the Matrix, but I have fallen short in every attempt.

PS. In my experience, the most super powered of all comics folk are the following:

* David Mack (He can do just about everything that Daredevil can do.)
* Steranko (A real life Doc Savage)
* Chuck Rosanski (Incredible mojo, including finding the Mile High collection-the best EVER! )
* Peter David (Has the most amazing hidden talents this side of Leonardo)

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Eric Knisley

1. Making cats angry at a distance
2. Drawing Victorian iron pipe work
3. Helping people move
4. Backrubs
5. Flying

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