FFF Results Post #399—Spoilerama

On Friday, CR readers were asked, "Describe In Five Sentences Of Ten Words Or Less Five Moments From Comics That Genuinely Surprised You." This is how they responded.



Tom Spurgeon

1. Stinky commits suicide.
2. ERG-1 drained right out of his suit.
3. The rising sun turns out to be Alfred E. Neuman.
4. The claws aren't part of his costume.
5. Boom.

*****



Sean Kleefeld

1. "I did it thirty-five minutes ago."
2. Galactus falls!
3. Reed Richards' brain is erased by a Negative Zone alien.
4. Herobear tells Tyler who his grandfather is.
5. Planetary #27 finally came out... three years later.

*****



Art Baxter

1. Manhog serves his tormentor as the main course.
2. Spider-Man grows four extra arms by accident.
3. Mina Murray's neck scarf falls away revealing massive scarring.
4. Sock Monkey cuts his face down the middle with scissors.
5. Maggie and Ray exchange gazes over four decades.

*****



Richard Pachter

1 Byrne's Captain Canuck-ish guy blowed up real good.
2 Ha, they're gonna make another Superman.
3 After all that, they really did kill Damian -- for now.
4 Thomas Wayne is alive and is Batman?!
5 That snap was her neck breaking.

*****



Stergios Botzakis

1. The guy they ran over was the attempted robber.
2. Tara is a mole.
3. Aunt Petunia is relatively young.
4. Captain Boomerang uses Slipknot to test a theory.
5. The three narratives are actually one story.

*****



Bonny

1. Omega: shot, killed, cancelled all at once, leaving no conclusion.
2. Peter Parker learns by telegram that Aunt May is dead.
3. Bran Mak Muffin loses all faith, falls on his sword.
4. It turns out, apparently, that women are emotion-based voids.
5. Jimmy Corrigan considers jumping, meets friendly woman at work instead.

*****



Philippe Leblanc

1. Lina stays with her father in The Reverie;
2. Mitchell Hundred stopped United Flight 175;
3. Jon sneezed his way to adulthood at his friends' funeral;
4. I really thought Olrik would be there somehow, he's not;
5. So... this frog holds Mjolnir? oh, it's not a frog?;

*****



Mike Pfefferkorn

1. He never was really Alec Holland.
2. Gladstone's Terrible Secret.
3. Tex Thompson is dead.
4. "Burn."
5. Good-bye, Jean.

*****



Andrew Mansell

1. Hero from Bismoll devours the Miracle Machine and goes Insane
2. Winter Moran utters her first word
3. " ... she lost the baby a little over thirty minutes ago"
4. "I'm alive!!! Left -- to live out my life -- wondering -- "
5. "We had fun, didn't we Chuck?"

*****



Buzz Dixon

1. Clams got legs!
2. The cutie is a killer.
3. She would have had a better chance hitting the water.
4. Of course the most interesting characters aren't real.
5. It was all down hill after the dog died.

*****



Oliver Ristau

1. She died before she even hit the ground.
2. He's no angel and it's not judgment day either.
3. Hitler's hooded hate-mongering.
4. Innocent persecuted hero turns out to be death camp leader.
5. Cute looking people live inside a dead girl's body.

*****



Tim Hayes

1. Scorpio shoots himself
2. Silver St. Cloud recognizes Batman
3, Adele Blanc-Sec stabbed to death
4. Mr Hyde rapes the Invisible Man
5. Dad's Army turn up in an Image comic

*****



Matt Silvie

1. Doofus offended he's cuckolded by sleazy professor, "Gandalf the Grey."
2. The drunk in the Groucho Marx disguise was Uncle Gabby.
3. Clay Loudermilk ends up without any arms or legs.
4. Trosper forgets about the monster, resumes playing with the ball.
5. Libertarian zine gets Rorschach's diary, probably foiling Ozymandias' hairbrained scheme.

*****



Scott Dunbier

* Manhunter dies
* Green Arrow kills someone
* Flower Dies
* Swamp Thing finds out the truth and loses it
* Dedicated to the memory of Wally Wood

*****



J.E. Cole

1: I am the fourth man
2: Mom?
3: My City's burnt to ash and you're begging me for mercy? Request denied.
4: Why won't the blood wash off?
5: I love you Nancy Callahan.

*****



Ryan Sands

* Fone Bone chops off Kingdok's arm
* The Great Khan is our old friend Herbert
* Her mother's attic is full of dismembered dead dogs.
* His entire adamantium skeleton got ripped out.
* Adolf Kamil's father is executed

*****

i decided not to publish a few that didn't follow the directions. i do so not to punish but so that I don't have people "internet lawyering" up on a future post about contributor a, b, or c being allowed to do something in an escalating series of "riffs" on the exercise. i really do appreciate all of the submissions and know that sometimes you just miss a qualifying sentence or two. sorry!

*****
*****
 
posted 4:00 pm PST | Permalink
 

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