FFF Results Post #156—Sentenced

On Friday, CR asked its readers to Pick Up A Comic, Write Out Four Random and Complete Sentences From Four Different Pages, Then Name The Comic." This is how they responded.

*****



Tom Spurgeon

1. "Everyone's excited about our new guest."
2. "You can't ignore us forever!"
3. "William accepted the Saint's gift of her solid gold shoe... although I doubt he had any idea what to do with it."
4. "So I'm not really the Devil, so what?"
5. Castle Waiting

*****



Mike Baehr

1. "Do you like my new panties?"
2. "Oh! I thought you were from the 'A.A.'"
3. "I can't get this dress off so I will have to perform a Cesarean!!"
4. "The male's aggression stems from his instinct to hunt."
5. Drinky Crow's Maakies Treasury

*****



Dave Knott

* What make you think I'm interested in African dance?!
* You found some old ViewMaster reels!
* Don't degrade yourself for my cheap fantasies!
* She's actually reading my strips and not even cracking a smile.
* Peepshow #1

*****



Brian Lauver

1. I don't like the way that woman is looking at me!
2. You haven't lived till you've tried it!
3. We haven't done anything illegal for hours!
4. Don't lick it off!
5. Sugar & Spike #60

*****



Douglas Wolk

1. "I've never had my hand inside another human being's mouth in my life!"
2. "As for believing that this Mega-City One Judge simply 'chanced' upon the scene -- pah!"
3. "Wilbur Yess was a, uh, good citizen and, uh, a first rate trouser designer."
4. "Very reluctantly I grabbed him by the ankles and dangled him over the vat, just like he insisted."
5. Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files 12

*****



Gary Usher

1. "What a 'profit' and another sucker to take the blame!"
2. "I'm compromising on kicking..."
3. "I know the middle of all extremes, disputes, selfish evils."
4. "Can't the *@#* stop being himself...be...anybody but #@*# Ditko?
5. Ditko Continued (2009)

*****



Josue Menjivar

1. "You're overloaded with grudges and resentments!"
2. "I've missed you."
3. "I'm angry enough to FLIP OUT!"
4. "We are like Brothers..."
5. Omac #1 Jack Kirby

*****



Grant Goggans

1. What do we really know about accelerated intelligence?
2. I foolishly thought a few minutes earlier, when the last of the invaders faded into the black, that our fight was over.
3. You're just a kid, you're entitled to slack off.
4. Maneuver above cushioned objects if possible.
5. Grease Monkey by Tim Eldred

*****



Eric Knisley

1. "Hang on, sailor! We'll have you ashore in a jiffy--!"
2. "How will I ever explain this insanity to Jed?"
3. "You said 'observing'."
4. "The General's head is pricelss!"
5. The Sandman #1 (1974 Simon and Kirby version)

*****



Russ Maheras

1.) "One of the young men you are in charge of has a bullet in his spine."
2.) "After a lifetime of mistakes, you finally did something right."
3.) "Let me get this straight... You're trying to sneak back INTO Iraq?!?"
4.) "A cartoon version of the American warrior emerged: One in which he was either a willing dupe of the establishment or a walking target, wasting time in the desert until he was blown up by an I.E.D. or taken down by a sniper's bullet."
5.) No Enemy, But Peace

*****



Jason Michelitch

1. "Oh RUBBISH and I will thank you to leave my magnificent beard out of this."
2. "HERE is what I THINK of your TAXES"
3. "Is it a social commentary about hunky dreamboats?"
4. "Oh France France France you don't know what's best for you."
5. Kate Beaton's HISTORY COMICS mini.

*****



Russell Lissau

1. "Hold on. I'm getting some sot of involuntary nerve response from his left hand."
2. "Let me out and I'll show you."
3. "Aren't you at all curious?"
4. "I'm needed elsewhere."
5. Batman: Hush (Vol.1)

*****



Jamie S. Rich

1. "You hear that, Joe? He's just taking what he's wearing."
2. "All captivated by her strong manila arms, her lovely gumminess, the heady allure of her zip code..."
3. "Fixing it up. Decorating it so I can get rid of the place. There haven't been any more hauntings since the exorcists came."
4. "Mind slowly reaching out, a smooth finger touching the world. You are born."
5. Enigma by Peter Milligan and Duncan Fegredo

*****



Scott O. Brown

1. "I think I may scream like a grandmother."
2. "I made him eat all the corndogs, and then I padlocked him into the rock-o-plane."
3. "Sounds delicious, but where's Superfly?"
4. "Make a bunch and use them to put on twisted puppet shows for the nieghborhood kids which will affect them later in life."
5. Sam & Max: Surfin' the Highway.

*****



Douglas Mullins

1. "Descendant of a line of ancient sorcerer-surgeons, the baron and his servant, Igor, flee in the chaos of his last experiment!"
2. "But also a poor creature of flesh---formed by an evil hand!"
3. "Jumping catfish!"
4. "Mortals are brave but foolhardy!"
5. The Demon #13

*****



Mike Sterling

1. "If he catches me in his private chambers, he'll kill me... like dead!"
2. "Now, go keep those ridiculous rebel scum off the walls for another few minutes -- then I will handle the rest!"
3. "Stop sweating in your ale -- it makes it taste funny."
4. "It's a little late for apologies, asparagus-face...."
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #8 (1986)

*****



Randall Kirby

1. Bank credit cards now give immediate credit for amounts that a few years ago took days to approve.
2. Congress decided that, since national banks were chartered by the federal government, they would have to join the system.
3. "We want our money!"
4. "I wonder if they need someone to paint this fence?"
5. The Story of Banks and Thrifts

*****



Scott Cederlund

1. Just tell me why you did it and then let us go.
2. You're fucking daft, you are.
3. It's too late now.
4. "Saint Guillotine deliver us from our enemies."
5. The Invisibles Volume One: Say You Want a Revolution

*****



Kian Ross

1. "Nobody's band practices here till you invite those three black boys you threw out of my party over for Decaf-Cappuccino, Rex"
2. "Igor, why can't you just admit what your uncle did to you were little fucked you up?!"
3. "Stranski, my fren y'all better get yo butt outta dis 'hood quick befo'e sum basehead nigguh decide y'all look like target pratice, y'know?
4. "MOM, JEROME PEE'D ON MY HAT!!"
5. Love and Rockets X


*****



Johnny Bacardi

1. "Only I am deserving of your loyalty... and perhaps, one day, even of your LOVE!"
2. "I dare not fail her! She must be found... and saved!"
3. "Honestly! You'd think a man his age would have outgrown such nonsense!"
4. "Don't give up, darling! It's not over yet!"
5. Tales to Astonish #69

*****



Christopher Duffy

1. Shut up, Leif! You're insulting the gods!
2. Vampire snakes!
3. I have to leave you here. This iced river will lead you straight into the land of the dwarves.
4. That's exactly what I think, bastard!
5. Thorgal

*****



Adam Casey

1. "Oh yeah... ... no-one understands me!!"
2. "Oh sensitive guy from Uganda... thank God you're home... I had to talk to someone!!"
3. "You know that dude's stealing our gold!"
4. "Jesus, kid, who lays out your suit in the morning? Helen Keller?"
5. Hickee Vol. 2

*****



Frank Santoro

5. "I can't believe that in a week you'll be in basic training..."
4, "You know?"
3. "I'm telling you, there's no moose south of Duluth."
2. 'We made it..."
1. Thunderhead Underground Falls, Joel Orff

*****



Nat Gertler

1. "Have some tea, Mr. Bunny."
2. "Ooh, yeah, that sounds like fun!"
3. "Well, I think there are two more guests we should invite to our tea part!"
4. "Dad, may I go to the Titans treehouse today?"
5. Tiny Titans #10

*****



Andrew Horton

1. Silence! My E.S.P. faculties have suddenly sharpened! Something's HAPPENED in this apartment!
2. AH! Your PROBING mind has found the lair of the thief!
3. DEATH to the enemies of MERLIN!
4. It's our OWN private little joke, isn't it!? Your SORCERY did this to me--and by SORCERY you shall pay for it-!
5. The Demon 8, April 1973

*****



Tony Collett

1. Skedaddle, 'fore I put the three of ya across my knee and wake the snakes.
2. The bounty on the three of them alone will be more than we make in a year.
3. Well, Betsy, yore one healthy woman, if ya don't mind me saying so.
4. Ah got no problem with ya gettin' yerselves killed, but get in muh way again, an' shallow graves await.
5. Jonah Hex #37

*****



Chris Randle

1. "And that's how I ended up tied to the muzzle of the world's biggest gun."
2. "They don't know about my diamond manicure..."
3. "It is Fastnir, infidel!"
4. "Soon the West will regret the humiliations it has heaped upon us."
5. The Punisher #48

*****



Mauricio Matamoros

1. "By the ether!! Boobooloo, the king of the olfs!!"
2. "Time out! No one plays till I get back."
3. "We'll do both of you that favor."
4. "Then my master chopped off my head."
5. Dungeon, Vol. 1: Duck Heart

*****



Jamie Coville

1. Marget and Maran didn't make it, but I've miraculously survived.
2. Hasn't the time come to ask our Government why this conflict still hasn't been resolved?
3. Behind those hills, at the end of the Highway, is the liquid sea, where our people are waiting for us!
4. It will be very difficult now to prove its existence.
5. The Fourth Power (Humanoids/DC)

*****



Matthew Craig

1. Wear your BIG red hooters!!
2. Better practise my heading.
3. My Bunny!
4. A few hundred smacks in the face with a door will do that.
5. Beano Max #1, DC Thomson & Co., March 2007.

*****



John Vest

1. "B-But... what about... my brain...?"
2. "If I hadn't got you out of there, you'd have gambled away our ticket back to Muskogee."
3. "I am... puzzled by this casual use of weaponry for amusement."
4. "A calm resignation seizes his spirit."
5. The Defenders

*****



Tucker Stone

1. "You're planning to save the Nebraska with a geology lesson?"
2. "In the state it's in, the batteries could bust any minute, grilled meat at 700 volts guaranteed!"
3. "No, but you'll die for it!"
4. "You want to help Hamish by giving him a history lesson... I expected MORE."
5. Sanctum

*****

Danny Ceballos

1. "Nobody can accuse you of being a complete spaz!"
2. "Did I tell you that sometimes I see through time as though through a clear window?"
3. "Statues of glass?"
4. "Follow us into the golden country, into the empire of the senseless!"
5. Doom Patrol #27

*****



Sean Kleefeld

1. As resident authority on over water, under water and related sujects, I find that tunnels ain't got ends!
2. This man has withstood the power!!
3. Stay back, you matted masterwork of murderous malignancy!
4. The photograph enlarges to his gaze until the very grains of its composition become large dots -- which display an ominous message!!
5. Jimmy Olsen #142

*****



Jeffrey Meyer

1. Swaddling clothes are diapers and booties -- stuff like that.
2. Grandma's toilet is real pretty! The water is BLUE!
3. This car is a wimp. Let's buy a muscle car, Daddy!
4. Buy these books at your local bookstore or use this handy coupon for ordering:
5. "Oops! We're Out of Juice!" by Bil Keane

*****



Marc Sobel

1) "She should not be breast-feeding if she's on meth!"
2) "Car battery theft is the fastest growing crime among youths, ages 16-19 but studies show that 75% of the thefts aren't perpetrated by ordinary delinquents but by the Underground Car Battery Punks of St. Louis."
3) "Present Day: Dozens of sports fans are injured every year by over-pressurized CO2 powered hot dog cannons."
4) "In Tibet, a small sect known as the Ch'a Khan only allows copies of their scriptures to be written on rice paper!"
5) The Factoids of Life

*****



James Langdell

1. "God, talk about small world."
2. "Befo' him, nothin' hexisted in manifestation."
3. "'They want the cake, the ha'penny and the bloody toffee,' he'd say."
4. "My specialty is household furnishings and fitments."
5. Cages

*****



David Roel

1. You mule-headed nitwit!!
2. I'll empty my pockets... get rid of every last trace of Bob Banner!
3. I'm afraid I might clobber you too hard and spoil those handsome features!
4. Ben can't hold out much longer against the Hulk!
5. Fantastic Four #25.

*****



Aaron White

1. Look at that dark moon, Charon... guiding souls to the underworld!
2. How come it sounds like they don't have a future?
3. No more tears... never, never again!
4. Do you think... I'll ever make it back?
5. Galaxy Express 999

*****



Evan Dorkin

1. "Pug, are you making breakfast?"
2. "It's bad enough you know what happened to me -- now you're telling random aliens my life story?"
3. "I'd rather die than kill Pug Davis."
4. "Is this because of what I said on the ship?"
5. Pug Davis (#2)

*****



Tom Bondurant

1. "Only one way to reverse the damage I've done -- and that's by running through backwards to set up a counter-sonic-boom!"
2. "Yes, indeed -- the vault is immune to every possible weapon except one -- the fantastic energy of Flash's super-speed vibrations!"
3. "Now no one will expect the same gang to hit the same bank twice the same day!"
4. "The surprise was supposed to be on you, carrot-head!"
5. The Flash vol. 1 #221, April-May 1973 (written by J. David Warner and Cary Bates).

*****



Andrew Mansell

1. That has to be the worst landing I've ever seen
2. That's the only trouble with tennis, you can't play it alone
3. Back to Herman Hesse and the best...
4. I'll be interested in seeing how this looks in the box score
5. The Complete Peanuts Volume 11 1971-1972

*****



Jeff Kocan

1. "I don't remember Needles being a ghost town."
2. "I guess it's just you and me, Mr. Roboto."
3. "Here comes the river, folks!"
4. "He never reminded me that it was my fault."
5. Daisy Kutter

*****

thank to all that participated

*****
*****
 
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